75 Baby Puns That’ll Make You Giggle… Like a Baby

baby puns

I love a good baby pun, but it’s probably because I live off mom jokes and, well, coffee. So, I’m not afraid to use a few baby puns here and there to keep the mood lively. 

In addition, there’s that unglamorous side of parenting, so I appreciate a good joke now and then, especially when I’m in the thick of it. While baby puns are similar to dad jokes in their humor (or lack thereof; sorry dads!), it’s always fun to add a little humor to your day. 

If you are looking for funny baby puns to keep you giggling through the tiring nights, you’ve come to the right place. 

Perhaps, you want a laugh to remind yourself you’re not alone in this parenting gig or you’re writing a card for a baby shower and want something witty. Either way, adding a fun baby pun is always a good excuse for a laugh. 

I hope you enjoy this thorough list of baby puns that will make you giggle like a baby. 

  1. Is a baby shower necessary? Not if you change their diaper fast. 
  1. What holiday don’t babies like? Hall-o-wean
  1. What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
  1. When does a baby know it’s time to be born? When they run out of womb.
  1. How do you get a baby in space to sleep? You rocket.
  1. Mom: “Who’s baby is in this crib? Dad: “You told me to change the baby.”
  1. Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Its period never came.
  1. What do women crave most during pregnancy? For men to be the pregnant ones.
  1. Do storks deliver babies with clothes on? No, they are stork naked. 
  1. What’s the best thing to do with a cranky baby? You pacify them. 
  1. Ever heard about the lady who traveled across the ocean to have her baby? She needed a sea section. 
  1. The Pillsbury Dough Boy’s wife is pregnant. Yep, she’s got a bun in the oven. 
  1. What’s the difference between an adult and baby snake? The baby snake has a rattle.
  1. What’s the easiest way to make a baby ghost laugh? Play peek-a-BOO
  1. What should Batman use to decorate Robin’s crib? A bat mobile. 
  1. Did you hear the one about the pear who had triplets? She became a pear-ant and thoroughly enjoyed the fruits of her labor.
  1. What do baby turkeys do when they are upset? They cry fowl. 
  1. What’s a group of baby soldiers called? An infantry. 
  1. What’s a group of plump babies called? Heavy infantry.
  1. What’s a group of plump babies called? Heavy infantry.
  1. A baby’s laugh is the sweetest thing you can hear, except when it’s 3 a.m., you’re alone and you don’t have a baby. 
  1. What’s a group of baby trash cans called? A litter.
  1. What do you call a newborn monkey? A chimp off the old block. 
  1. When a baby is fighting sleep, are they resisting arrest?
  1. What’s a baby potato called? Small fry. 
  1. My friend asked if she should have a baby after 40. I said, no, I think 40 babies is enough. 
  1. Females are typically born on holidays because there is no mail delivered on holidays. 
  1. How is a baby born in a high-tech hospital? Cordless. 
  1. A newly-pregnant daughter asked her mom, “When should I expect the baby to move?” and the mother responded, “If you’re lucky, after he finishes high school.”
  1. What’s a baby’s temperature at birth? Womb temperature. 
  1. She wanted to make a joke about newborns, but the delivery would be painful. 
  1. How come the mom carries the baby? Well, because the baby can’t carry the mom. 
  1. A boy tells his friend, “My mom is having a new baby.” The friend responds, “What’s wrong with the old one?”
  1. Mother to her friend “I’m exhausted from being up with the baby until 4 a.m.” Friend: “It’s probably not good to keep the baby up that late.”
  1. When you secure a baby to a wooden high chair, they become a baby on board.
  1. Stranger to a mom with two babies: “Do you have twins?” Mom: “No, triplets. We left the ugly one at home.”
  1. Why did the babies get switched at birth? Because someone asked the nurse to change them.
  1. What’s the busiest time of day for changing diapers? In the wee-wee hours of the morning. 
  1. What did the mother corn say to the baby corn? “Where is your pop corn?”
  1. What do pregnancy and a joke have in common? A good delivery. 
  1. What do pregnancy and a joke have in common? A good delivery. 
  1. Where do babies post on social media? Babyfacebook.
  1. I was surprised when my newborn fussed so much when the doctor cut his umbilical cord. I guess he had really grown attached to it. 
  1. What should you call a newborn baby? Whatever you want. 
  1. Where do ghost parents take baby ghosts during the day? To day-scare.
  1. Do you know what the parents who worked at the instruction book company called their baby? Manuel.
  1. What’s a cow that just had a baby called? De-calf-inated. 
  1. Do you know why the infant went on a diet? She wanted to lose her baby fat. 
  1. What does a buffalo say to his son when he has to go back to work? “Bi-son!”
  1. What’s the best place for cats to learn how to swim? The kitty pool. 
  1. What did one twin say to the other inside their mom’s stomach? Give me more womb! 
  1. How can you tell the gender of a baby? If she cries, it’s a girl. If he cries, it’s a boy. 
  1. What did the fire say to her husband after their baby was born? “Look, honey, it’s arson!”
  1. How do babies look something up on the internet? They goo-goo it. 
  1. Where do baby fish go to sleep? In a bass-inet. 
  1. Why do parents dress their babies in onesies? Because babies can’t dress themselves. 
  1. You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes, so why do some parents have more than one baby?
  1. What does a pig use for a diaper rash? Oinkment. 
  1. What does a baby ghost sound like when it cries? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo. 
  1. What restaurant do newborns like to eat at? Hooters. 
  1. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow at nighttime? “It’s pasture bed time, son.” 
  1. Why didn’t the baby want to be born? Because they didn’t want to give up their free womb and board. 
  1. What’s a cow called that just had a baby? A new moother. 
  1. How come the baby strawberry was crying? Her parents were in a jam. 
  1. Do you know what happened to the baby who ate Scrabble tiles? Their next diaper spelled disaster. 
  1. What social media app do babies use to find playdates? Tindergarten. 
  1. Why did the baby put her dad in the freezer? Because she wanted an ice pop. 
  1. What is a baby adoption center called? A stork market. 
  1. How does a baby tell her mom she needs a diaper change? With a pee-mail. 
  1. A nurse told the new parents, “You have a cute baby.” The happy husband replied, “I’m sure you say that to all the new parents.” The nurse replied, “No, just the most adorable ones.” The husband responded, “What do you say to everyone else?” The nurse grinned and said, “The baby looks just like you.”
  1. What kind of baby did the lady who had the sea section have? She had a bouncing baby buoy. 
  1. What did you call your security blanket when you were a baby? I’m drawing a blankie. 
  1. A dad tried to steal candy from his newborn, but the baby slapped his hand. Apparently, he wasn’t born yesterday. 
  1. What do twins and triplets need more of than single babies? They need more womb. 
  1. What did Mr. Goat say to Mrs. Goat when she said she was having a baby? “You’re kidding?”
  1. What did the doctor say when the patient delivered a frozen pizza? “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno!” 
  2. Did you hear who held the baby octopus for ransom? Squidnappers.


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